True leadership isn’t about being in charge. It’s about caring for those in your charge. Empathy is the skill that makes this possible.
In the world of leadership, few ideas are as powerful or as misunderstood as servant leadership. At its heart is a simple but revolutionary concept: the best leaders put their team’s needs first. And the engine that makes this work is empathy.
Imagine a leader who doesn’t just tell you what to do. Instead, they take the time to understand your challenges, listen to your ideas, and genuinely care about your well-being. This is what empathy in servant leadership looks like. It’s about seeing things from another person’s perspective and using that understanding to guide and support them.
This article will break down this important idea in a simple, clear way. You’ll learn what empathy in leadership means, why it’s so powerful, and how you can use it to become a better leader, whether you’re running a company, coaching a team, or just working with others.
How Empathy Powers the Servant Leader
Empathy is often confused with sympathy. But they are different.
- Sympathy is feeling for someone (like feeling sorry for them).
- Empathy is feeling with someone. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.
For a servant leader, empathy is not a nice-to-have; it’s the essential fuel for their entire approach. It’s the skill that allows a leader to truly understand what their team is going through, connect with them on a human level, and build the deep trust necessary for growth.
Think of it like this: a leader can’t effectively “serve” their team if they don’t first understand what the team truly needs. Empathy is the tool that uncovers those needs. It moves a leader from making assumptions to having real, meaningful insights. One expert calls it the “cornerstone” of servant leadership. It’s the foundation on which everything else is built. Without empathy, a leader’s attempts to help might be misguided or even miss the mark entirely.
The Engine of Understanding: Empathy vs. Sympathy
To master servant leadership, you must first master a crucial distinction: the difference between sympathy and empathy.
- Sympathy is like seeing someone stranded on an island. You acknowledge their situation from your boat. You might feel concern and even toss them a life preserver, but you remain separate, a spectator to their struggle.
- Empathy, however, is swimming to the island to sit with them. It’s the courageous choice to understand their world from their perspective. You don’t just observe their experience; you make a genuine effort to connect with it. This doesn’t mean you’ve experienced the exact same thing, but that you are committed to understanding their unique feelings and situation.
This is why empathy is rightly called the “heart” of servant leadership. A leader’s role is to serve, but you cannot effectively serve someone whose reality you don’t understand. Empathy is the tool that moves you from guessing what your team needs to truly knowing. It transforms leadership from a mere transaction of tasks into a transformative human connection built on trust and mutual respect. Without this empathetic heart, the practice of servant leadership is just an empty technique.
In servant leadership, empathy is crucial. It’s the skill that allows a leader to:
- Truly understand what their team is going through.
- Connect with them on a human level.
- Build deep trust and strong relationships.
One expert calls it the “cornerstone” of servant leadership. It’s the foundation everything else is built on. Without empathy, a leader can’t truly know how to serve their team.
Why Empathy is a Superpower in Leadership
Some people think empathy is a soft, fluffy skill. But research shows it’s a real superpower that makes teams and companies stronger.
The Proof is in the Numbers
- Employee Engagement: Studies show that when employees feel understood and appreciated, they are more engaged and loyal.
- Reducing Loneliness: New research found that leaders who show empathy can significantly reduce workplace loneliness, which leads to better mental health and well-being for employees.
- Performance Boost: Research from the Center for Creative Leadership reveals that leaders who demonstrate empathy earn greater loyalty and better performance from their teams.
The Benefits of an Empathetic Leader
| Benefit | How it Helps |
| Stronger Trust | Team members feel safe and are more honest and open. |
| Better Teamwork | People who feel understood are more willing to collaborate. |
| Higher Morale | Employees are happier and more satisfied with their jobs. |
| More Innovation | A safe environment encourages people to share new ideas. |
The 5 Key Habits of an Empathetic, Servant Leader
You don’t have to be born with empathy. It’s a skill you can practice and learn. Here are five simple habits to get you started.
1. Listen to Understand, Not Just to Reply
Active listening is the most important habit. It means giving someone your full attention without thinking about what you’re going to say next. Servant leaders listen to understand the other person’s thoughts, concerns, and ideas. Try asking, “What would feel most helpful from me right now?” instead of jumping in with a solution.
2. Practice Empathy with Boundaries
This is a critical point. Empathy doesn’t mean taking on everyone’s problems as your own. That leads to leader burnout. Instead, practice “empathy with edges.” You can say, “I hear you, and I care. Here’s what I can offer.” This shows you care while protecting your own well-being.
3. Ask Questions and Be Humble
An empathetic leader knows they don’t have all the answers. They are humble and ask questions to learn from their team. They prioritize the team’s needs over their own ego.
4. Validate Feelings
You don’t always have to agree with someone to show empathy. You just need to acknowledge their feelings. Try using phrases like:
- “It makes sense that you feel that way.”
- “I understand this is frustrating.”
- “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
5. Put Your Oxygen Mask on First
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Leaders must take care of their own mental and physical health first. As one article wisely states, you must “put your oxygen mask on before helping others”. Compassionate leadership means including yourself in the circle of care.
The Challenges and How to Overcome Them
Being an empathetic leader isn’t always easy. Sometimes, people mistake empathy for weakness. Others worry it will take too much time.
- Challenge: “I’ll seem like I’m not a strong leader.”
- Solution: Empathy is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to be vulnerable and to connect deeply. Leaders like Cheryl Bachelder, former CEO of Popeyes, used empathetic, servant leadership to turn the company around, proving it boosts both morale and profits.
- Challenge: “I’ll get burned out.”
- Solution: This is why boundaries are so important. You can care for your team without sacrificing your own health. Set clear work hours and take breaks. Remember, practicing self-care allows you to serve others better and longer.
Real-World Example: How Empathy Transforms
A great example is the story of a software development manager. Instead of just assigning tasks, she took extra time to mentor a new team member. She provided guidance on technical skills and career growth.
This empathetic action did two things:
- It built the new employee’s confidence and loyalty.
- It helped the entire team because the new member became a strong contributor faster.
The manager served her employee’s needs, which in turn served the goals of the whole company.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q1: Isn’t servant leadership just about being nice?
A: No. It’s about being effective. Servant leaders are often very driven and results-oriented, but they believe the best way to get results is by empowering and supporting their people. They can still make tough decisions while being empathetic.
Q2: Can empathy really be learned, or is it something you’re born with?
A: While some people might be naturally more empathetic, it is absolutely a skill that can be developed. It starts with a genuine desire to understand others and is built by practicing habits like active listening and asking thoughtful questions.
Q3: What’s the difference between empathy and sympathy?
A: Sympathy is feeling for someone (e.g., “I feel sorry for you”). Empathy is feeling with someone (e.g., “I understand why you feel that way; I’ve been there too”). Empathy creates a much deeper connection.
Q4: How can I practice empathy if my team works remotely?
A: Remote work makes empathy even more important! Schedule regular video check-ins not just about work, but about well-being. Use chat tools to ask about their weekend. Encourage casual conversation in virtual meetings. The same principles of listening and asking questions apply.
Q5: Is empathetic leadership only for certain types of companies or industries?
A: No. Empathy is a universal human skill that is valuable in any context where people work together, from corporations and nonprofits to schools and government agencies. Any organization benefits from having leaders who understand and care about their people.
Education & Teaching›Schools & Teaching›Education Theory
Servant Leadership Works: Ethical, Engaging, and Effective
By Dennis Ondrejka
This inspiring guide re-imagines leadership as an act of service rooted in empathy, humility, and purpose. Blending academic insight, personal stories, and practical tools, Servant Leadership equips readers to lead with heart and integrity-whether in the classroom, the boardroom, or everyday life. Drawing on timeless spiritual wisdom and modern research, Thibodeau and Ondrejka show how leading by serving can transform individuals, teams, and entire organizations. This is leadership as it was meant to be: good work, sacred work, our work.
- Faith-driven insights for daily living
- Perfect for families, groups & individuals
- Actionable wisdom & inspiration
Conclusion: Leading with Heart
Servant leadership with empathy isn’t a management trick. It’s a way of seeing your role as a leader. It’s about choosing to lift others up and help them succeed.
The best leaders know that their success depends on the success of their team. By listening, understanding, and showing genuine care, you build a team that is not only more productive but also more loyal, innovative, and happy.
Remember the words of the ancient wisdom: “We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses”. The greatest leaders are those who can connect with and understand the people they guide. Start small. Listen a little more closely today. Ask one thoughtful question. You might be surprised at the transformation it begins.
